2015! Today I am two months and 21 days away from being married for fifteen years. That is a long time. This year my oldest biological “I made him!” child will be fifteen. Don’t do that math. My middle child will be thirteen. My littlest child will be ten in less than six weeks. My oldest, I didn’t make those but I sure did raise them, children will be 23 in a couple of weeks. 23! This is an exciting year!
I tend to be sort of maudlin on new years day. I can’t help it. I do it the day of my birthday too – which to me is my new year. I’m trying not to this year. Instead, I am looking through my evernote and looking at all of the awesome projects I haven’t done in the last two years and I am making baby steps towards them.
My kids need to empty their rooms. I told them to pretend we’re moving (we’re not. ever.) and to get rid of anything they wouldn’t want to bring to a new home/find useful in a new home. M looked at me and told me to “bring everything”. I swear, there is a packrat gene, and he has it coming from all directions. I need to split one of their rooms into two. E wants it to be her room. She wants privacy, but she wants to be near someone too. I’m OK with that. My kids are trying to figure out how I’m going to build a wall. I’m just being thankful that their flooring is already kind of shit, so I don’t mind anchoring a wall to it. It’s laminate that’s been through one teenage boy, and three children, and is currently being shared by two of them. It’s not in terrible condition, but it’s not brand spankin’ new either. They’re asking for a window. I explained that defeats the purpose of the wall.
I have everything I need, except time and a place to put some odds and ends, to finish this project. I want to do this in the upstairs hallway. I am publicly shaming myself, seeing as I’ve had these supplies since summer.
I have some cabinets we were given sitting in the garage, waiting to be brought into the house. Dad & BrotherMine just brought in two of the three cabinets and helped me rearrange the dining room so they are now inside. Ten extra feet “hidden” of storage! We’re all exhausted now. I want to redo the window treatments on all of the downstairs windows. I have nightstands to assemble (IKEA, for the kids) and mirrors to hang (so E can dance in front of them), a bathroom to organize (because five of us are sharing one and there is never enough room), and a veritable laundry list of other tiny projects that will equal one amazing home if I can find the time to get them all done.
I want to spend more time with my boys, even though they don’t really want to spend time with me. I want my girl to want to do more than hair and makeup and nails because it’s not really my thing and I want to do stuff with her.
Since I tend to believe the saying “Begin as you mean to go on” (and tend to leave the last little bit of that saying off), I usually spend January 1 giggling with the kids, tidying, exercising, cooking a little bit, and in general trying not to be a lazy bum. It does tend to taper off, but it gives me a point of reference throughout the year.
Who knows what 2015 will bring. I lost some loved ones last year, so I’m sort of hoping for a death-free year this year. I didn’t accomplish a whole lot, so I’m hoping to facilitate more “big” things this year. I learned that not every day has to be a big accomplishment. Some days, it’s enough to make it through to the next day and start over. This is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time. 1,440 minutes in a day. Make them count, even if they only count a little bit. Take bit bites. This years first tattoo? I’m pretty sure it has to be the Fight Club-Crash-Big Lebowski piece the husband drew up a few years ago. I’m feeling like it’s the right year to do it. Maybe for our anniversary.